Thursday, December 6, 2007
calling all parents
i need help! lily is such a terrible sleeper. i feel like every time i find a new way to get her to sleep and stay asleep it only lasts a few days. she's no longer nursing well in bed. she still sleeps through the night (6 hrs before waking) .. but it takes up to 4 hours to get her to bed. i've tried changing her bedtime, rocking her, binkies, bottles, singing, reading books, night baths. i wait until she is "limp limbed" to put her down and she still wakes up and doesn't go back to sleep. i don't know what to do anymore. i've considering trying the "cry it out method" but i don't have the heart. if you have ANY advice.. or any friends who had light sleepers send them my way, i will take any advice.
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8 comments:
Lindsey,
I really like the book, "The No Cry Sleep Solution." Also, check out AskDrSears.com and kellymoms.com.
The are a few things I have found to be very important with molding my kids' sleep habits. #1 Be consistent. This is hard, because you want to have a life and it isn't always convienent (sp?) to put the kids down at the same time every single night, and what if your favorite TV show is just starting? But I swear that it worth it. And I might add - it will take awhile of being consistent before you see solid results. #2 Don't be afraid to try something (again and again) that didn't work the last time you tried it. I learned this with Gabe and wished I had tried it more with Colin. Babies change so quickly. #3 Earlier is better. Babies typcially don't wind down as the evening goes on...they get wound up and then eventually crash. So sometimes it seems easier to put them to bed when they have hit that crash, but actually it is awesome if you can put them to sleep long before the wind up period. #4 Complete darkness and quietness can be really important.
Crying it out works for some people as a quick fix, but I personally feel like, unless the kid is old enough to talk, it doesn't make much sense. Crying is the only way your baby has of letting you know she needs you. When you ignore her cries at night, what does that tell your baby? You are taking away their one form of communication. When Colin was about 4 1/2 months old, before I found my true mothering style, I let him cry for 2 1/2 hours in his crib. ACK. He never fell asleep. Chad came home and picked him up.
Which brings me to my last point - figure out exactly what part of the sleeping situation you are not happy with, and make sure that it is something you actually care about, not just something that everyone else acts like you should care about. Does that make sense? Every baby is different and all households have different living environments that change with time, so you have to figure out exactly what would be ideal for you right now. Pinpoint the things you don't like, focus on changing that, work out a plan based on how babies sleep (which is way different than how we do), and follow that plan for ten days without fail. It could take ten days of pure deligence before you see results. Again, back to the consistency, which is the hardest, but in my opinion, the most important.
I always had to lay down with my babies for them to go to sleep! Callie still co-sleeps! Can't get the little booger out of the bed. Babies want to feel their mother warm and cozy next to them for a long time! That is why I loved the Moby, Callie could just snuggle up and sleep and feel warm and cozy. It was not until around 6 months that she woudl sleep for any amount of time on her own. I really do not have much advice because I have always basically done things one way. I would just say go with your insticts. Only you know your baby well enough to know what she needs. And she just may need to be held.
Woohoo Audra. Love your advice.
I certainly can't give any advice since I pretty much just hold Amelia 24/7 and Elizabeth is now sleeping in our bed with Daddy more often than not (I'm in the recliner with Amelia). I wish Amelia would co-sleep even though that hurts my upper back, but she starts choking and spits up when nursing that way and could care less that I'm lying beside her if she's not nursing. She knows what she likes and it's to sleep upright with her head on my shoulder. That said, she does sleep well, gets plenty of naptime, and usually only wakes up once at night. So I tolerate a one-handed life in hopes that it'll only be another month or two.
the thing is lily likes sleeping on her own.. she sleeps much more soundly and wakes happier when shes sleeps at least part of the night on her own.. she actually won't take decent naps on me anymore... she just doesn't transition well from me to bed.. she wakes up easily.. even if i nurse to sleep in bed then get out.. and lately she wakes alot through the night when she sleeps with me.. but stays sound asleep if we can manage to get her in her crib.
Is she swaddled? That sounds a lot like Elizabeth and we had to swadddle her until almost 6 months. She wouldn't want to be swaddled, but we just got it nice and tight, nursed her to sleep, and that was the ONLY way she wouldn't wake up right away.
Two books I read before my first came along were Baby Wise and The Happiest Baby on the Block. Both helped me out a ton when the baby came, but the second of these gave these 5 concepts that my baby responded to the best.
In a nutshell, Happiest Baby has two parts: the first part talks about some theories why babies cry and what causes colic. The second part goes into 5 ways to sooth a crying baby. They are the 5 S's: Swaddle, Side(stomach), Shhh-ing, Swinging, and Sucking. There is a certain order and method to doing each and it does somehow magically work, but for my baby, the swaddling and sucking stuck around and helped him to calm down and get to sleep the best.
I felt like I had a lot to work with after reading these two books. They gave a lot of options if your baby didn't conform to certain ways to sooth themselves. But yes, all babies are different and need their own special ways to calm down and get to sleep. Give the books a try, but all-in-all, good luck!
Hey Lindsey! I have tons of opinions and since you asked... I agree with everyone who's posted already. You have to figure out what is not working for you, are you tired because your not getting enough sleep, is she fussy because she's not getting enough sleep. A combination of the books "Happiest Baby on the Block"- to give you tips on how to get them to sleep- and "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" (I think that's the title) - to help you know when to put them down is what I use. Babies get overtired and then it's hard for them to get to sleep and stay asleep, and even if they get one good nap it's not enough to bring them back to normal they may even seem more tired. Like Katie said you have to be consistent and then you'll see results. I swear, when you figure out a bedtime routine that works for your kids it changes your life!!! Good Luck!!!
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